I believe that the media
has partially influenced men to lose some of their more admirable qualities typically
associated with masculinity. I think this because I do believe that men have
lost the desire to live on their own, get married, and have kids. I don’t know
how men lived in the past before media became a large part of our society, but
in my life, I think I’ve seen a decline in these wants. By not wanting to
become their own individual they lose the internal qualities sure-footedness, inner
strength, confidence of purpose. They are unsure how to take care of themselves
which makes their inner strength and confidence of purpose decline. Not all men
have this loss of qualities, but some do, and I don’t think that is good because
if the next generation sees this and believes it is acceptable, society is
headed in a downward spiral.
In “Men Growing up to be Boys,” Lakshmi Chaudry says, “Where some argue that the
women’s movement has freed men from the straightjacket of traditional machismo,
others have blamed it for depriving them of their identity.” When asked, a high
percent of men feel as though women becoming increasingly autonomous is
hindering them and making them feel like they are losing their self-worth. I
think that women should be able to separate themselves from men and people
would be equal. This is a dream that most likely wont come true, but that’s how
I think it should be. I don’t think men should feel like they are becoming the
second-hand citizens because they should be able to be work hard for themselves
and let women do the same without anyone being the lesser gender.
In "Why You Shouldn't Have Children,"
Caitlin Moran believes that instead of fretting over not having children by a
certain age, women should be thinking about “who we are, and what we’re going
to do,” (Pg. 239). This matters because
women should focus on themselves more than worrying about “who [women] might
make, and what they might do,” (Pg.
239). This self-focus may seem selfish,
but if men can be happy without children, why can’t women feel the same way? Why does most the woman population feel the need to have children? I think women should be able not to have children and still be content with their lives.
The article “Men Growing Up to Be Boys” presented interesting anecdotes of a problem our society is facing. Media presents its viewers with a fabricated view of a glamourized of what they believe attractive masculinity looks like. Men are slowly becoming more apt to fall victim to the stereotypical “teenage boy syndrome”, where it is acceptable for men to not settle down until they find the right woman who FORCES them to settle down. I emphasize the word force primarily based on the fact that it is not their choice. If you look back in history, it was a honor to marry a woman and build a family with her. While, the majority of the domestic responsibilities fell on the woman, the ideal “family man” mentality was not one that was difficult to come to terms with.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the article “Why You Shouldn’t Have Children” the most. I can totally relate to what Moran was saying. The day I turned 18 my family started asking me what my plan was for marriage and children. Being fresh out of high school, children were and still are the last thing on my mind. Why should I have to plan when I’m kids? Why am I being asked at the raw age of 18 what my “family plan” is? I loved when she said that women don’t have to have children to learn all the lessons that children teach us. Anyone can learn to be kind, compassionate, caring, loving, and supportive by simply being who they are. Children are not a necessity to possessing admirable character traits. Also, the role of child rearing falls primarily on the woman. Men can live normal lives after fathering children. Why should women have to essentially destroy their lives when they aren’t ready or because society tells them so? Child rearing is serious. Society places a woman’s worth based on how many children she has.
In "Men Growing Up to Be Boys" there is a problem in our society that the media puts in everybody's faces nowadays; how masculinity is "supposed" to look like and be. Men every day are becoming more prone to falling victim to the stereotype of masculinity. The media glamorizes the truth to make men believe that this is what true masculinity looks like. So therefore men are feeling more self aware towards themselves, such as what you wear and act like in public can show a man's masculinity. Over the years masculinity has been more extended, back then the "ideal family man" was what masculinity was; nowadays masculinity is a lot of different things, and that make men confused and therefore don't how to act masculine anymore. The media is a huge part in creating stereotypes which makes society try and second guess themselves more than they probably already do. In "Why You Shouldn't Have Children" Moran showed us that you don't have to have children to learn the lessons that a child can show us. Anyone on their own can learn to be compassionate, loving, supportive, caring and kind by just being who you are. You don't need kids to learn this. Also when you have a child most of the responsibility falls on the woman and not the man. Why do we have to essentially destroy our lives when society tells us to? Society places woman's worth nowadays based on how many children she has. I agree with Moran in this article. Women should not be forced to live like this; we can do what we want to do with our lives without society telling us what we "should" do.
ReplyDelete“Men Growing Up to Be Boys” resonated with me, because I feel like the circumstances in this article could very easily happen to me. One of my role models is my cousin Evan. When he was a teenager, he decided he wouldn't 'grow up' until he turned 40. And that is exactly what he did. He was in bands, worked at a pizza place, was a semi pro skateboarder, and had a girlfriend 15 years younger than him. I don't think men are growing up to be boys, but I do thing boys are growing up to be larger, more intelligent boys. I think this article meshes perfectly with the next article, because men are allowed to be single and not have children, while women are shamed if they do the same thing. Men can continue to live a young life, but most ladies are guilted into motherhood.
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed Caitlin's article about why women shouldn't have children. I might even read her book. I think its absurd that women are pressured into having children. Mothers who ask their daughters when she's gonna pop one out, sounds crazy, but its a reality in our culture. Women have to give up their lives to raise a child, while men get to carry on for the most part. This is the reason why there aren't very many women CEOs. Their aspirations to run a company have been overtaken by life. That's great for some people, but I think it should worry us. there are probably hundreds of potential scientists, business women, or authors that will go on to raise three kids,and work at the same place the rest of their lives.
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ReplyDeleteWhether they are good qualities or bad, the media is definitely influencing men in their belief on what masculinity is. In every show, it seems as though the womanizing character has it figured out, and is living the life of luxury. I told my sister some of my T.V. role models, and she stopped me at Barney Stinson and chided me on how horrible a man he is, kind of like everyone does on "HIMYM", except this time it wasn't funny. In this show, and in many others, the jerk who gets paid, gets laid, and (coincidently) has a fade is reminded of how terrible they are and take it as a complement. I disagree with professor Michael Kimmel when he says that men "are resisting becoming men longer and longer." Becoming a man is still a popular goal, but because of the media and corporate executives what it means to become a man is changing.
ReplyDeleteFemininity holds value in everything, just as masculinity is valuable in raising a child. At the bottom of page 237 in Moran's "Why You Shouldn't Have Children" she describes different places a woman can learn lessons outside of having kids. I didn't even know half of those things existed. Google defines femininity simply as "the quality of being female; womanliness." To match the simplicity, I believe women are different than men, and can offer a different perspective and set of experiences. This is important because if everyone can see that femininity adds value to essentially everything, then society won't pressure women into having kids.
I disagree that men are losing admirable masculine qualities due to the media and so would the author of "Men growing up to be boys" when they state that "These pop culture images are all the more striking because they directly contradict the experiences of men in the real world." I think what really influences a mans masculinity is what has emotionally effected him in his life such as parents, friends, a lack of something. Plus I don't think all men have accessibility to things presented by the media to be masculine. Sure there are those men that are influenced by the media because they can buy what ever they want but its to general to say all men are influenced by the media in a negative way.
ReplyDeleteNow that I've said masculinity comes from the experiences in the mans own life, the role that masculinity serves in society is a personal one. When a man is confident in his masculinity, it gives him the ability to take part in society and assert his opinions and his abilities in a way that can be beneficial.
Femininity should be about women being confident as women. This makes femininity of great value because it helps women become what ever the heck they want to be. Women make up a little more than half the worlds population and if they are all being pressured to have kids thats a waste of all the minds and working bodies that could help are society grow in new ways.
I agree that some men are losing their admirable masculine qualities due to their exposed to media that portrays it as a more narcissistic form as the author of "Men growing up to be boys". The author mentions how the media has been making it "more important to look like a hero rather then be one" which in my opinion is true. Most shows that are popular on T.V. some of the most popular male characters are portrayed as the narcissistic, womanizer because of this men i feel are stereotyped to be like those characters though as the author mentioned most men in the real world are hardworking and responsible. Which is interesting because even though the media is constantly pushing these stereotypes men seem to distance themselves from those characters which makes me believe that masculinity is also influenced by experience. This is also why some men have different versions of what is truly masculine now their isn't just one answer that is always right.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading "Why you shouldn't have children" i was surprised how because i had never realized how many times the question of "when are you going to have a kid" popped up as much as it did and felt so forced on to women. I actually agree that women shouldn't have to have a kid to feel like they did their job in society i actually find that it would be a waste of potential. i don't think that femininity should be based around if a women had a kid or not but instead it should be about who they are as a person and shouldn't feel pressured to go have a kid when they don't want to. Femininity also comes from experience i ones life in my opinion and is up to the females opinion not the cultures. Women should focus on what they want and not on what society thinks they want.
Bailee,
ReplyDeleteYour proposition on the idea that men are losing their best masculine qualities is very interesting to me. I agree that maybe some men are slipping through the cracks, but at the same time, so are some women. Overall, I have to disagree with you. I believe that the majority of men still desire to get married and have children. In "Men Growing Up To Be Boys" Lakshmi Chaudry writes, "70 percent of men between the ages of 21 and 39 were willing to sacrifice pay and lose promotions in exchange for a work schedule that allowed them to spend more time with their families" (2). This statistic alone proves that a significant amount of men have not lost their drive to not only provide for their wives and children but to love them and want relationships with them. However, I can not and will not deny the fact that men are taking longer to make the final decision on how to live their life and yes, like most of us, I believe media has a huge influence on this delay. In movies, television shows, magazines, internet sites, and any other place to find advertisements; men and women are exposed to new ideas about a "good life" for a man. This life includes "doing their best to postpone all the decisions that mark the passage into adulthood - getting a job, moving out of their parents' home, getting marries, and having kids - in order to enjoy the lad lifestyle of 'online porn, drinking, and poker'" (Chaudhry). Although the media constantly portrays this lifestyle as the best, I believe it is wrong for everyone to immediately assume that all men are jumping on this. For me personally, the majority of men in my life, (whether it be my father, grandpa, uncles, boyfriend, or peers) have done nothing but proven to me that not all hope is lost in men. They still strive for goals and most of the older men are in happy loving marriages, by choice.
Now, touching on your views of "Why You Shouldn't Have Children" by Caitlin Moran, I agree with what you have written but also think Moran is a bit of an extremist. She mentions that women become invaluable to the world and forgotten by society once they have children and I think that is absolutely insane. However, I do agree with you in the idea that is is very unfair for women to be pressured to have children while it is not given a second thought when men exclaim that they don't want children.
As demonstrated by almost every sit-com on TV today and social commentary shows, such as Family Guy, men have stereotypically become “man-boys”. Men are portrayed as immature, childish, lazy, and find refuge from their wives and kids in their weekly poker games or fantasy football leagues. If this is true or not, who can really say? In my short 18 years of living, the grown men I’ve known, for the most part, were hard working and good fathers. But perhaps this is because my parents were born in 1951 and still value the classic 1950’s stereotypical family. Although, observing boys from my generation, most do want to wait a long while before settling, but who’s to say that’s wrong? I think that this new, more laid-back “laissez-faire” approach to growing up may be healthy. Isn’t it possible in the past both men and women were pressured into growing up quickly, having kids, and living the rest of their lives as routines? Maybe waiting a little longer is good. It gives people more time to accomplish things they want to accomplish and find out who they are before settling down. This belief of mine also ties into my opinion of the text “Why You Shouldn’t Have Children”. I agreed with the author entirely; not having children doesn’t make you not a woman. Of course having children isn’t wrong, but women need to make sure that they realize the consequences of having kids. Children take so much time, money, and energy and we as females need to make sure that we are prepared for that if we do decide to have sex for the reason God intended. In addition, not every woman needs to have kids and I agree that women can live happy, full, and in some cases happier and fuller, lives without having a baby.
ReplyDeleteBailee,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a very good job at interpreting the text, and speaking out about how your beliefs coincide with both the article and excerpt we read. Good job. I both agree and disagree with you on some aspects of your entry. I agree with your statement, "I don’t think men should feel like they are becoming the second-hand citizens because they should be able to be work hard for themselves and let women do the same without anyone being the lesser gender." I think that and man feeling inferior to a woman because that woman can provide for herself, care about her future, and be on a path to success is a man who deals with an insecurity inside himself. It is not a matter of which gender is the lesser, or which gender is playing the "appropriate" role in society, but about which gender is confident enough to step out and do their own thing heedless of what stereotypical gender norms call for. However, media clearly plays a role in this. As "Men Growing Up to Be Boys" pointed out, media has put a strain on men to delay making life choice, but instead to have fun, pick up chicks, etc.
I reference to "Why You Shouldn't Have Children," I agree completely with Moran. Though I want to have children, and almost have for my entire life, I agree that it is a personal choice that of which women should make on their own, free from society's scrutiny. Too often are women pressured, in large part by other women, about when they're planning on having children. It isn't even a question of, like Moran said, IF they want to have children, but WHEN. And personally, I think that's the saddest aspect of the issue at all.