In “Men Growing Up to be Boys,” author Lakshmi
Chaudhry claims that media has influenced men to lose many of their more
admirable traits that are generally associated with masculinity. I agree with
Chaudhry. Men have drastically changed since the ‘50s; men are changing every
day. The media is a major influence on all of society today. I’m sure that
seeing commercials featuring a man having fun on his phone with no
responsibilities is very appealing to some guys, and they might want to embrace
that lifestyle: no wife, no kids, no job, and no responsibility. However, there
are still men out there whose major goal in life to is to marry and have
children and provide for their family. Then there are also men who enjoy the
single life, who just want to focus on improving themselves, or becoming more
independent, or getting a promotion every six months and making bank. And I say
to each their own. Every person in this world is different, unique. We make a huge
deal about women being stereotyped and expected to look, act, and be a certain
way; why would we put men in the same box? Each one of the types of guys from
above can apply to a female as well. Females too can be care-free. Females too
can be family-oriented. Females too can be success and financially driven. The
world isn’t black and white anymore. There isn’t just one way to live, and
there isn’t a right way to live either. It used to be expected that women care
for a child while it’s in her womb, give birth to a child, and then raise a
child for at least eighteen years while working a mediocre job and coming home
each night to cook dinner, and clean the house, while their husbands are just
expected to work a well-paying job and support the family financially. It seems
like the scale is a little off-balanced to say the least. Nowadays, women are
more commonly accepted as independents, but it is still seen as taboo if women
do not want to have children. In "Why You Shouldn't Have Children,"
Caitlin Moran argues that motherhood might not actually be the noblest calling
for women, as it is usually portrayed in our society and I agree. Women can be
noble in any way that they please, just like men can. If you want to have a
family, then go ahead, but it should not be because you feel like you have to;
it should be because you genuinely want to. If you want to live in your parents’
basement and play video games all day, so be it. If you want to work your way
up to be the CEO of a huge corporation, then do it. Your sex shouldn’t define
how you live your life. It’s YOUR life, do whatever makes YOU happy, not
society.
I really enjoyed reading what you wrote and I agree with many of the points you’ve made. There is no doubt that media is a huge influence on masculinity in today’s society. Many might feel that the media’s impact causes negative outcomes for men, as Chaudhry suggests in “Men Growing Up to be Boys.” However, I don’t feel that this is always the case. Although the majority of today’s advertisements are directed towards men being free of responsibility, not worrying about a wife and kids, and simply just partying it up, there are still parts of media that are directed towards guys becoming like the ideal man back in the ‘50s. Forbs Magazine is just one of the many types of media that encourages businessman and the majority of the men that appear in the magazines, are in fact family men. Not to mention Handy Man magazines, and the DIY channel which encourage men to do what a ’50s man would do. There is still a balance between the men who want to have the free lifestyle and those who want to become the successful family man. And as you said, the choice of which to choose is ultimately in the man himself. It’s evident that women are becoming more independent, so why can’t men do the same. If a women, or a man, chooses to be independent, so be it. I feel this helps create a balance between men and women and the independent and dependent. As more women become autonomous, more men feel as though they are not needed by the women, and compensate for this by becoming the guys describes by Chaudhry. Likewise, the autonomous women feel as though motherhood is not for them. If men are able to opt out of the responsibilities, a women should be able to as well. It’s a circle of do’s and don’ts that ultimately comes down, just like you said, to what a person wants and not what society wants.
ReplyDeleteDestiny, I really liked reading your response and I think you captured the reality of our generation with the slow rejection of traditional gender norms. For every negative piece of media broadcasted today, there is also a piece of media that encourages positive behavior. I thought the article written by Chaudhry was frustratingly one-sided. Gender norms are clearly projected onto both sexes and both can be harmful, but humans (like you said) are so diverse and unique!! Chaudhry discusses the negative effects of commercials that portray lazy or unmotivated men, such as the cell phone ad. But this argument can be reversed. I've noticed an increased number of commercials featuring stay at home dads, such as a Huggies Diaper or Tide laundry detergent commercial. I was surprised at first, then touched. This is the reality of our generation, a woman can be a mother, while also working as the bread-winner. Conversely, a dad can stay at home with his children and not be the source of income. That is the beauty of living in this time. I think Moran's essay captured this point well. She wanted to remind women that they do indeed have a choice to have children, it is not a necessity to living a fulfilled life as a female.
ReplyDeleteI too agree that men have changed since the 1950’s and so has our culture. We aren’t living in a post world war era or on the brinks of nuclear war with our former ally. We aren’t shipping all abled men to fight for us, instead that route for those without better options. So yes, some men look at the ad and see that careless lifestyle as a dream; while other men rather spend their time providing for a family and raising their offspring. I disagree with Kimmel and think that to be grown up is, “to be grown up is to be settled, comfortable, stable, responsible, and secure,” and that getting over the anxiety is a step of growing up. Which one is right is completely up to the individual. With the increase of females doing what was once considered to be a man’s job there is no issue with men losing their “masculinity.” Talking about the rise of independence of females, I too agree that they should not be held to standard of having kids. As Moran talks about in “Why You Shouldn’t Have Children,” kids take up time, money, and energy. To anyone, male or female, who rather focus on their professional life and climb to the top with no distractions taking care of a child will only hinder them. I would never expect someone to have a child as personally I rather not have one. I agree with Destiny’s closing statement that it is your life, and that you choose how to live it.
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